Friday, June 13, 2008

Chilliwack, gone gone gone.

There's something about lemons that pisses me right square off. They are tasty and therefore utterly irresistible, yet at the same time sour and full of hate. They're like bear traps with Reese's Puffs in the center. It's like, "I could have candy for breakfast!!" BAM. TRAP. NO. And you're done.
That'd actually make for a good Reese's Puffs commercial...
So I was hiking with my friend through the woods while thinking about lemons when my friend says, "I had Reese's for breakfast." "CANDY FOR BREAKFAST? Fuck off!" He says, "Not candy, Reese's Puffs Cereal!" So I attempt to try a bowl, but as I lean down to take a bite a bear trap latches onto my face! Suddenly a swirl of flavor and pain rush through my body!

Reese's-Puffs! Broughttoyoubyacompletebreakfastinstructionsnotapplycandymay
causediabetescompletebreakfast.

Then a bear probably appears and they all laugh. See there's a very specific formula for a Reese's Puffs commercial.
1. Doing a ridiculously unrelated activity, i.e. "So I'm putting the ninth hole..."
2. Friend brags about eating candy for breakfast, as opposed to saying "I ate Reese's Puffs this morning."
3. First person is astonished and refuses to believe that anyone would have the gall to eat pixie sticks and swedish fish for their first meal.
4. Friend clarifies.
5. First guy tries a bowl, best fucking thing he's ever had.
6. Announcer talks for ten seconds and you hear nothing he says because you're too busy staring at the "complete breakfast."
7. Random thing happens that relates to the kids getting yelled at for the activity they were doing, but it's okay! They have cereal! So they just laugh and smile at the camera. The end.

That's it! Name this code!
8441
2136
4421

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